“Am I the Cause?” Helping Kids and Teens Untangle Divorce from their Sense of Self

 

When a family goes through a divorce, parents are understandably consumed by a mountain of logistics, emotional strain, and big life changes. Amid this upheaval, children and adolescents are quietly doing what they do best: trying to make sense of their new world and where they fit into it.

Though they process it differently based on their age, both younger children and teenagers frequently internalize a parental split.

Younger children view the universe through an egocentric lens—meaning they naturally believe they are the center of cause and effect. If they were recently corrected for misbehaving, they easily connect the dots and conclude, “Mom and Dad are splitting up because of me.”

Teenagers possess advanced abstract thinking, so they understand the logic of divorce better, but they are in a crucial stage of identity formation. For a teen, a parental split can shake their very foundation, leading them to question their own capacity for future relationships, or causing them to feel personally responsible for "fixing" things or taking care of a parent's emotional needs.

To protect your child or teen's self-esteem and emotional well-being, they need explicit, repeated reassurance to untangle their sense of self from adult decisions.

Progress, Not Perfection: Embracing Your Child or Teen’s Unique Journey

Parenting is perhaps the most challenging role we will ever take on. As parents, we naturally want the absolute best for our kids. We want to protect them from pain, see them succeed, and hope they grow into happy, healthy adults. However, in our desire to help them, it is easy to fall into the trap of seeking "perfection"—both for them and for ourselves.

At Child Therapy Chicago, we encourage families to shift the focus from a finished "perfect" product to a lifelong process of growth. Here is why prioritizing progress over perfection makes all the difference.

Decoding the Eye-Roll: Why Your Teen’s Attitude is Actually a Good Sign

If you’ve recently been met with a dramatic sigh, a slammed door, or the "world-class" eye-roll, you aren’t alone. Living with a teenager can sometimes feel like walking through a minefield where the rules of engagement change every hour.

It’s easy to feel like you’re doing something wrong, or worse, that your once-sweet child has suddenly decided you’re the enemy. But at Child Therapy Chicago, we want to share a little secret that might help you breathe a sigh of relief: Their attitude usually isn't about you.

The Invisible Guest: How Our Stress Finds Its Way Into Our Kids’ Rooms

It’s no secret that parenting in 2026 feels heavy. Between an unpredictable 24/7 news cycle, shifting political and social landscapes, and the sheer pace of life for a modern parent, many of us are living in a state of "high alert." We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, and often, without meaning to, we put that weight onto our kids.

As parents, we try our best to shield our children and teens from our worries. But even when we don't speak our stress out loud, our kids are experts at reading our emotions and moods.

Investing in Your Child's Well-being: Why Child Therapy Chicago May Be the Right Fit

As a parent, you only want the best for your child, and their mental and emotional health is paramount. When your child is facing challenges, finding the right support can feel overwhelming. Many parents naturally look for therapists who accept their insurance, believing it's the only feasible or even "correct" path. We understand that – navigating healthcare and finances is complex. At Child Therapy Chicago, we are committed to providing exceptional care for toddlers, kids, teens, and their families, and we operate as a private-pay practice. We believe it's important to openly discuss why this model allows us to focus entirely on your child's needs and why it can be a valuable investment for your family.

Our goal is not to convince you of one way over another, but to provide clarity so you can make the most informed decision for your child's well-being. Think of it as an exploration of the unique benefits that a smaller, boutique-style practice can offer.

Understanding Your Unique Self: A Guide for Highly Sensitive Teens

Hey everyone! Today, we want to talk directly to the incredible teenagers out there who might identify with something truly special: having a highly sensitive temperament. If you've ever felt like you experience the world a little more intensely than others, this post is for you.

Beyond the Timer: Raising Self-Regulating Kids in a Digital World

 

For years, the "gold standard" of digital parenting was the kitchen timer. We set 60 minutes for Minecraft, 30 minutes for YouTube, and when the buzzer went off, the device went away. But as we’ve seen heading into 2026, rigid rules often create a "forbidden fruit" effect or, worse, leave kids without the very skill they need most: the ability to listen to their own brains.

Play as a Window to the Soul: How Therapists Listen to What Children Can’t Yet Say

 

Children are constantly learning to navigate a complex world and, sometimes, the feelings and challenges they face feel too overwhelming or too abstract for words. As adults, we often have the vocabulary and emotional awareness to articulate our struggles. But what about a child who is experiencing anxiety, sadness, or anger without the means to express it verbally? This is where play therapy becomes a powerful and invaluable tool.

The Gift and Challenge of Raising a Deeply Feeling Child

Some kids don’t just feel—they feel deeply. They take in the world with an intensity that can be breathtaking in its beauty and overwhelming in its weight. These are the children and teens who light up with joy, crumble with disappointment, notice subtleties others miss, and respond to the emotional climate around them with exquisite sensitivity.

For many parents, raising a deeply feeling kid is both a profound gift and a genuine challenge. Their tenderness invites empathy and connection, yet their intensity can leave adults unsure of how to help them navigate big internal experiences that seem to arrive without warning.

This depth of feeling not as something to “fix,” but as something to understand—a signal about the child or teen’s inner world. Sensitivity is not a flaw; it is a form of emotional richness.

Why Understanding Matters More Than Managing Behavior

 

For parents of children and teens with big feelings…

Parents often bring their kids to therapy feeling frustrated, confused, or worn down by their child or teen’s behavior. The emotional outbursts, the withdrawal, the snarkiness or refusal to talk — it can all feel overwhelming. In those moments, it’s natural to reach for strategies: What consequence will work? How can I stop the yelling? What can I say to get through?

But from a psychodynamic perspective, we start somewhere deeper.

We begin with understanding — because behavior, especially intense behavior, is almost always a messenger.

🧠 Helping Kids Build Emotional Strength

Emotional regulation and resilience are skills—not traits kids are born with. For kids with more highly sensitive temperaments, strengthening emotional regulation and resilience is a process that takes time and support. So, we’re sharing simple ways you can help your child build emotional strength, one moment at a time. 💪💚

Helping Your Teen Stay Safe on Social Media

 

If you’re raising a pre-teen or teen right now, you probably already know how much social media is part of their world. It’s how they connect with friends, discover new interests, and figure out who they are. While that can feel exciting, it can also feel scary as a parent. You might even wonder if the safest choice is to ban social media altogether.

Nurturing an Authentic Sense of Self in Pre-Teen Girls

As a child psychotherapist, I often see pre-teen girls grappling with the challenge of developing an authentic sense of self. This stage of life is filled with rapid developmental changes, both physical and emotional, and it can be difficult for young girls to navigate these changes while staying true to themselves. Here are some strategies that can help pre-teen girls work toward developing an authentic sense of self:

Teens Understanding Anxiety: How Talking About Your Feelings Can Help You Feel Better

Have you ever wondered how to help your teen understand what anxiety is and why talking about their feelings can bring them some relief? If so, here’s what you can say. Read on…

Making the Sunday Scaries Less Scary 🫣

Are the “Sunday Scaries” ruining your weekends? As a parent myself, I know a crying, flopping, venting, whining, anxious and/or depressed kiddo will wear everyone down and make the simplest tasks feel impossibly overwhelming. The data say this is very real, and we know it is hard, hard, hard! 

Oh, what to do, what to do?

How to Lessen Leaning on Screen with Youngers Kids

We know that most parents are concerned about the amount of time their children spend on devices and behind screens. It can be especially challenging in high-stress situations, as we often find ourselves turning to technology to help our kiddos calm down when feeling overwhelmed or in a challenging situation or environment. While it’s important to keep a balance between device time and other activities, having a toolbox for tough situations will make it much easier to help your child to better manage their big feelings.

Here are some non-screen ideas to help children to manage emotions:

About Child Therapy Chicago

Play Therapy & Counseling, All Ages.

Child or Teen Behavior Problems, Big Emotions or Anxiety?

Free Hour Session For Parents, Call (312) 768-8746.

Spring Break Ideas for Kids and Teens

 

With spring break approaching, parents can start to feel overwhelmed with how to fill their kids’ days and how to handle the break in routines and schedules. It can be even more challenging in the case of families with Highlighly Sensitive Children or children and teens who struggle with BIG feelings.

That being said, it’s important to remember that there are also benefits to taking a break, as it provides a time for children’s and teens’ brains and bodies to rejuvenate and if offers the opportunity for families to reconnect and reset. Suddenly having no routines and much less structure means, on the one hand, that we need to plan ahead and try to create some kind of loose schedule to make the time easier to handle, and on the other hand, that we need to let kids have good old fashioned free time. Instead of focusing on empty days and no obligations, think about how to make this time fun for you and your kids AND how to give your kids the space to figure out what to do on their own. Spring Break is a good opportunity to take advantage of some newfound quality time and independence. 

Here are some ideas that can help make the most of your time! 

Signs of Anxiety in Children and Teens

It seems like you can’t go anywhere without hearing about the rise of anxiety in our post-pandemic world. While we’ve come a long way by bringing the conversation about mental health to the forefront, we can’t forget that all of the factors that contribute to our anxiety are also having their own separate effects on our kids. 

It is so difficult to try and get inside of our children and teens’ heads and, as parents, we never want to think that even our youngest kids may be struggling with stressors and anxieties. That being said, being aware and being able to get ahead of some of these issues can make all the difference.

Co-Regulation of Emotions

All parents want their children and teens to be able to effectively manage their emotions and feelings to the best of their ability so that they can be as happy as they can be. Most parents understand that part of their responsibility is to help them learn how to do so. This fundamental ability to manage inner thoughts, experiences, and feelings is called Self-Regulation, and one of the best ways to help your child or teen achieve this is through Co-Regulation.