Children’s behavior has meaning. We are children's issues experts who help children make meaning of their experiences and work through what troubles them. We also help parents better understand their children.
DBT Dialectical Behavior Therapy Part 2: Distress Tolerance for Parents
Distress tolerance is another skill used in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
(DBT). In a nut shell, distress tolerance is how we handle
crises or other emotionally challenging situations.
to ask yourself is this: "When I am in a situation I cannot change, how
do I get out without making things worse?” This phrase is really important for parenting and learning to pick and choose "battles."
Some simple strategies for distress tolerance are listed below:
years can be very stressful and overwhelming for many of our youngsters.
The stress of entering puberty and handling
this new rush of hormones along with the navigation through friendships, peer “drama” and developing social skills can really take a toll.
Not to mention, many of our children are
trying to manage the academic pressures of testing and high school admittance.
Sometimes, tweens may find it difficult to generate “coping skills” when
already emotional or stressed out. Therefore, it is helpful to have a “tool box”
of coping skills that can be beneficial in times of need, whether it is to help
them stay calm or even just have a distraction.
DBT stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is an approach
that, historically, has been used by many clinicians to help people
relax, focus, and center themselves so they can manage their emotions
and behaviors and have healthy relationships. Over the years, it has
gained more and more attention for itseffectivenessand parents are learning to incorporate these techniques into their own lives and help their children do the same.
DBT has many components to it and to really “master” it, one must spend
a great deal of time learning, practicing and basically
eating/sleeping/breathing it. So, I thought I would give you the "cliff
notes" and some quick and easy ways you can help yourself and your
child incorporate it into everyday life.
The beginning of your child’s return to your home can be
challenging and may need some adjustment time. Try the following to help your
Keep things low-key.
When your child first enters your home, try
to have some down time together—read a book or do some other quiet activity.
To make packing easier and your children feel more
comfortable, make sure that each home provides the general basics—toothbrush,
Allow your child to have space.
Children often need some time to
adjust to the transition. If they seem to need space, do something nearby, but
allow them to take the time they need to adjust back to your home life
Establish a special routine.
Play a game or have the same special
meal each time your child returns. Children thrive on routine—if they know
exactly what to expect when they return to you, it can help to create a
It is important to remember that the move from one household to
another, whether it is every few days or just on weekends, can be a difficult
transition for children.
Each reunion with one parent is also a separation with
the other. In most joint custody agreements, transition time is inevitable, but
there are things you can do to help make parenting time exchanges easier, both
when your children leave and return.
All major decisions need to be made by both you and your ex.
Being open, honest, and straightforward regarding the following 3 important issues is
essential to your relationship with your ex and your children’s well-being.
UrbanDictionary.com is officially my new best friend.Working with tweens and teenagers all day, I
have come to know it well (and officially added it to the “Favorites" tab on my internet
There is a big trend right now
among young people with “code words”.Teenagers have developed their own language
and form of communication, so “us adults” can’t figure out what they’re talking
about (mainly because it’s probably not appropriate, ESPECIALLY in a school
However, when a student calls
someone a “thot” (aka hoe) or continues to repeats the word “milk” (the tastiest
s#@t ever) in their conversation and there's no milk in sight or you know this
kid has a dairy allergy (lol!), it starts getting suspicious.
You may have heard of an IEP, heard parents or teachers talking
about it, or maybe your child has one/is in the process of getting one. They
can sometimes be confusing and even a bit overwhelming to understand. But it is
best to go into this meeting prepared and knowledgeable so you can be your
child’s best advocate.
IEP stands for Individualized Education Program. A student/child
may receive an IEP when additional services, provided within the school, are
determined to be needed to better support a student with a disability or who is
having trouble learning. This may be a diagnosed learning disability (dyslexia,
auditory processing disorder, etc.), emotional disability (anxiety, depression,
ADHD, etc.), a child on the autism spectrum, or a child struggle in certain
areas of learning such as math, reading, etc.
Normally (and I can speak on my
own experiences), a team of teachers, administrators, and related service
providers (physical therapists, occupational therapists, speech therapists,
social workers, counselors, etc.)
collaborate to develop the best possible learning plan for the student
so they can be successful in the school setting. The most important aspect of
this plan development is both parent and student involvement.
Normally, a full IEP can be quite lengthy.So here are just a FEW things you should
expect to be discussed during an IEP meeting and noted in a child's plan: