Making the Sunday Scaries Less Scary 🫣

Are the “Sunday Scaries” ruining your weekends? As a parent myself, I know a crying, flopping, venting, whining, anxious and/or depressed kiddo will wear everyone down and make the simplest tasks feel impossibly overwhelming. The data say this is very real, and we know it is hard, hard, hard! 

Oh, what to do, what to do?

Empathy on the Brain

Empathy: A word we hear more and more today, especially in discussions about children/teens and their emotional development. What exactly is empathy? Empathy is being able to put ourselves in someone else’s situation in an effort to feel what they are feeling. Sounds easy enough, right? Not always. It often gets confused with sympathy, which means feelings bad for someone. It can be difficult to practice (and even more difficult to teach) empathy when we don’t necessarily agree with or understand the other person’s feelings. The most important thing is keeping in mind that just because we do not cognitively process what that feeling “means”, we can still help this other person move through their feelings how they see fit. Any adult knows how an empathetic friend or loved one can make us feel better even in the worst moments, but the need for empathy is probably even greater when it comes to our kiddos. Why? Because empathy fosters a sense of belonging, a necessity for children and teens in all of their stages of development. When they are shown empathy (by modeling behavior), they feel worthy of the love and support they are receiving. They feel heard, seen, and understood. They don’t feel alone. 

Parenting the Child You Have 🧒🏾🧒🏻

 Is your child WAAAAY different than the child you imagined you’d have? If so, you’re definitely NOT ALONE!

How Change and Transitions Affect Kids

Change... Does this word make you cringe? Transition... and what does this word make you feel?

We are creatures of habit. Routines help us keep organized, stay focused, and remain structured.

But how do change and transition affect children?

Computers, the Internet, Your Child and You

Having the world at our finger tips is making life so much easier for us and for our children. The positives most definitely outweigh the negatives. We get to learn just about anything we want at any time. However, the Internet has added a new dimension to parenting.

Calming Activities for Children

Here are a few simple calm down activities for children to help them unwind at the end of the day or play with just before bed time. We all need some moments of peace and quiet in our busy lives, and this helps both parents and children.

Make Lavendar Play Dough. The subtle power of lavender helps to induce calmness and sleepiness. Pushing, squeezing and modelling with play dough is a great stress reliever in and of itself too. Get them to take out their tiffs in the dough!

A rain stick is a great craft to make together. The sound it makes when turned over is wonderful! Children cannot help but keep on turning it over and over, listening to the gentle sound until they calm down.

Discovery bottles are another great resource to have on hand. Filled with glitter, beads pom poms and more, the liquids and objects move slowly when turned and children can focus on them as they do so. Teach them to take deep breaths while they watch the objects moving and they should relax in no time!

Blowing bubbles, whether for a younger sibling or just for themselves, is instantly calming as it requires focus and deep breathing. Of course it beings giggling too, but hopefully still in a happier way than their mood might have been in before!

Behavior Problems in Preschoolers and Kindergarteners

We get calls from parents all the time asking if their preschool or kindergartener's acting out behaviors are "normal." Today, we are going to share some tips for helping to calm disruptive behavior.

Most young children have "behavior" problems. It is their job. They are growing and developing by leaps and bounds. There are new expectations of them and the rate at which they are learning new skills, new rules, how to socialize, etc. can be pretty stressful and confusing sometimes. They are still figuring out how to handle their emotions and still need the help and support of their parents. When young children feel overwhelmed, those feelings come out in their behaviors.

Young children's moods can run hot and cold and go from happy and content to rageful and distraught and back in a matter of minutes. When they are upset, it is not uncommon to see yelling, screaming, hitting, kicking, throwing, etc. So, what can you do to help?

TV Reporter and Camera Man Shot on Live TV: How to Talk with Your Kids

If you are wondering how to talk with your kids about the TV reporter and camera man who were shot on live TV in Virginia yesterday, please read this post for some of our thoughts.

Raising More Successful Teen Daughters

STUDY: On Raising More Successful Daughters...

FOX 32 News Chicago
Fox News contacted Child Therapy Chicago to discuss a study of the impact of mothers' nagging on their teenage daughters' later success.

Quick Tip: Parenting and Child Brain Development

Did you know that how a you interact with your children can affect the children's brain chemistry and, thus, development?

Children need help regulating their emotions. When children are stressed, even by everyday experiences, their bodies produce chemicals that put them in a state of high alert, which weakens neural connections and can cause difficulty learning, anxiety, and hypervigilence. With ongoing parental emotional support, especially during times of stress, the body can return to a normal state. Prolonged absence of support can permanently change brain structure and lead to long term emotional and developmental problems. When parents are consistently supportive and help children understand and handle their feelings, eventually, children internalize this ability and become able to take on this task themselves. Then, children are better equiped to help themselves fend against harmful effects of ongoing stress.


Source: Khazan, Olga (2014). The Atlantic Monthly. How Supportive Parenting Protects the Brain.

National Day of Unplugging: Put Down Your Smartphone

National Day of Unplugging: Denise Duval Tsioles, PhD, LCSW talks to Fox News about people putting their smartphone down.
Chicago News and Weather | FOX 32 News

Fox News contacted Child Therapy Chicago to get our expert opinion on taking a break from mobile technology. National Day of Unplugging is meant for people of all backgrounds to embrace a day of rest, without the use of mobile technology.

Games for Children: Board Games and Child Development

Board Games for Kids

Latency-aged children, around the ages of six to eight, enjoy board games. Board games are a way for children to express their feelings and are typically a preferred style of communication over talking. Board games are a great way to bond with children while promoting mastery over the developmentally appropriate tasks of middle childhood. When playing board games, children learn patience and self control - to wait their turn, sit still, share, and manage their feelings - be it tolerating loss or exhibiting appropriate expressions of satisfaction by beating an opponent. Children, at this age, are also concerned with rules and structure and demonstrate varying styles of play, which may or may not follow what is written on the instruction box. 

How do children’s games offer insight into children’s inner worlds?

Parenting Advice: Spoiled Child. Is It Possible to Spoil a Child?

Is it possible to spoil a child? The simple answer is "no." Some parents worry - or are told by others - that if they respond too quickly or too often to a crying, fussing child, the child will become spoiled. This is not the case.

Helping Children: How to Talk to Children About Traumatic Events

In the wake of the Sandy Hook, Connecticut school shooting, parents have been wondering how to talk about difficult or traumatic events with their children. Many questions arise as to what and how much to say to young children when something potentially frightening or anxiety provoking occurs and how to handle their responses. Conversations can range from discussions of traumatic natural disasters or the recent school shooting in Sandy Hook to talks about divorce, parental health problems, or even age appropriate questions about loss and death.

Here are some things to keep in mind when helping children understand and work through provocative and scary situations:

Good Parenting: How Good Are You?

We at Child Therapy Chicago want to encourage one simple but important thought -- to always keep trying to be a good enough parent. 

Much has been written about this concept and we address it frequently. Good enough parenting is not about being perfect, never getting upset, and responding or reacting to children the right way all the time; it is about building a relationship of trust, warmth, security, and positive regard by being as reliable, predictable, consistent, supportive, and encouraging as often as possible. 

When things do not go as planned, which can happen a lot, good enough parenting is about the repair and recovery from those moments and creating an emotionally safe environment. 

Children learn about relationships and develop their sense of self from their interactions with their parents and caregivers. When things go well in the relationship, great. When there are less than ideal moments, that is ok too. Parents and children can talk about and process those difficult times, which helps children learn how to deal with feeling of upset and disappointment and how to work through them and move forward with their sense of self still intact.

So, resolve to keep working on being a good enough parent. The rewards for parents and children are priceless!

The Role of the Adult in Child’s Play

In a previous post (The Importance of Play), we briefly explained how the role of play in a child’s world is of great importance to his or her psychological and physical development. To reiterate, play, for children, is work. Children use play to act out scenarios or events that are consuming their mental energy and they play about them over and over until they have processed enough to move on. Even the most typically developing children are consumed by the massive amounts of information and relational experiences that they must navigate every day and play helps them work it out.

Good Parenting

Parents bring their life histories with them into their parenting philosophies and practices, and it usually happens without awareness. This means that, while parents might bring the very best intentions and the very best traits of their own parents, their values, and their ideals, sometimes previous life experiences can get in the way of building healthy relationships or effective parenting.  

Understanding Parents' Own Histories and the Influence on the Parent Child Relationship

By the time parents reach adulthood, they have experienced a lifetime’s worth of relationships, both good and bad.These relationships exist with caregivers, siblings, peers, friends, and so on. A normal effect of having relationships is that they leave indelible impressions upon the psyche, which create  templates, often unconscious, about how particular kinds of relationships are supposed to work. In a sense, people become “programmed” as to what to expect from others (parents, friends, partners, etc.) and how they feel about themselves based on previous experiences with people already in these roles, and the impressions start during even the earliest days of infancy.  

How to Connect with Kids: Kids and Technology

There are so many ways parents can connect with their children. Would you ever imagine that disconnecting could actually be a good way for parents and children to connect and strengthen their relationships? A recent post in Mamapedia entitled, "Disconnecting to Re-Connect," speaks poignantly to this idea and inspired some additional thoughts on the topic.

"Disconnecting," in this context, does not mean detaching from relationships with kids; it is about families freeing themselves of technology, for periods of time, in order to strengthen relationships. Technology is all around us and has become a significant part of families' lives. Cell phones, iPads, laptops, video games, high tech TV and movies, and children's electronic educational toys abound. Parents and kids can easily get lost in the world of social media and communication - Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, email, blogs, etc. While these things can make various aspects of life easier and be excellent resources, they also have the potential to be distracting to relationships.

The Lorax and The Hunger Games: How these Books and Movies Promote Good Parenting, Enhance Child Development, and Support Family Connections

The month of March was ushered in by the Lorax and takes its leave with the Hunger Games. These two books, turned movies, are capturing the attention of children and teens across the country. Kids are excited and they are talking about it.

The Lorax, with its vibrant colors, bold animation, and lovable characters (so fitting of Dr. Seuss) maintains its environmental and social commentary in a whimsical way that connects with young children's budding empathic sides and their curiosity about the world. The Hunger Games, though a much darker commentary, seems to get at the core of young teens' struggles with identity and related feelings of belonging, importance, relationships, values, and beliefs. Children and teens, so touched by these stories, are reaching out to share their experiences with their families.