If you’re raising a pre-teen or teen right now, you probably already know how much social media is part of their world. It’s how they connect with friends, discover new interests, and figure out who they are. While that can feel exciting, it can also feel scary as a parent. You might even wonder if the safest choice is to ban social media altogether.
But here’s the truth: social media isn’t going anywhere, and our kids are going to encounter it sooner or later. Instead of keeping them away from it completely, we can use this as an opportunity to help them learn how to use it wisely and safely.
Here are some ways you can support your child as they navigate social media:
1. Teach skills instead of relying on rules.
Rather than only saying “Don’t do this” or “Be careful,” show them how to make safe choices online. Talk about privacy and being mindful about how much personal information is shared as well as being thoughtful about images and words that are posted. Help kids understand the value of thinking carefully before they act. It’s also important to acknowledge that kids are going to run into uncomfortable situations, so talk with them about recognizing when something makes them feel uneasy, sad or bad and how to not engage with it and step away.
2. Help them question what they see.
Kids scroll through so much information every day. Gently encourage them to ask, “Who posted this?”, “Is this a reliable source?”, or “Does this sound too good to be true?” Teach them what sources of information are valid and how to check multiple resources to confirm what they see or hear. These simple habits help them become thoughtful consumers of what they read online.
3. Keep the conversation going.
Instead of one big “talk” about social media, make it a regular part of your chats—like asking about their day at school. Ask what apps are their favorite, what they like about them, or if anything online has felt confusing or upsetting. Show interest if they want to share things with you! The more normal it is to talk about, the more likely they’ll come to you when something feels off.
4. Be the example.
Our kids watch how we use our phones and social media. If we take breaks, think before posting, explain what we are doing, and why and show kindness online, they notice. Modeling speaks louder than rules.
5. Create boundaries together.
Instead of laying down strict rules, try setting limits collaboratively. Things like establishing device shut down times at night or “no devices at the dinner table” can work well when everyone in the family agrees. When kids feel like they’ve had a say, they’re more likely to respect the boundaries.
6. Balance trust with protection.
It’s natural to want to check in on what they’re doing online. Let your child know you’re not trying to invade their privacy, but you do want to make sure they’re safe. As they show more responsibility, you can give them more independence.
The bottom line:
Our kids don’t just need protection from the online world—they need guidance on how to live in it. By staying connected, setting healthy boundaries, and teaching them how to think critically, we give them the tools they’ll carry with them long after they leave home.
