The
key to co-parenting is to focus on your children—and your children
only. This can be very difficult!
It means that your own emotions—any
anger, resentment, or hurt—must be placed aside in order to attend to
the needs of your children. Co-parenting is not about your feelings, or
those of your ex, but rather about your child’s happiness and
well-being.
Co-parenting
amicably with your ex can provide your children stability and close
relationships with both parents. Despite the many challenges, it is
possible to develop a positive working relationship with your ex for the
sake of your children. With these tips, you can remain calm, stay
consistent, and avoid or resolve conflict with your ex:
● Do not let your feelings be in control.
It is okay to be hurt and angry, but your feelings do not have to dictate
your behavior. Instead, let what is best for your children—you working
cooperatively with the other parent—motivate your actions.
● Get your feelings out somewhere else.
Never vent to your child. Friends, therapists, or even a pet can be
good listeners when you need to get your feelings off your chest.
Exercise is also a healthy outlet for letting off steam.
● Stay child-focused.
If you feel angry or resentful, try to remember why you need to act
with purpose and grace; your child’s best interests are at stake.
● Never use children as messengers.
When you have your child tell the other parent something for you, it
puts your child in the center of conflict. The goal is to keep your
child out of your relationship issues; call or email your ex yourself.
● Keep your issues to yourself.
Never say negative things about your ex to your children or make them
feel like they have to choose. Your child has a right to a relationship
with his or her other parent that is free of your influence.
