The Importance of Teaching Your Child Independent Living Skills
(aka do those chores!)
Over the years, I've come to realize more and more the importance
of both children and adolescents developing a solid set of daily living skills.
Having worked in a high school for a number of years, it has become a growing
concern that many teens getting ready to transition into the real world do not
have an appropriate set of independent skills for simple daily life tasks. Schools are now taking a more active approach
to teaching these skills since many teens require an extensive amount of
training in this area. Preparing the next generation, not only academically,
but in life skills as well, is becoming a necessity. Researchers are linking children who do
chores at a younger age to professional success as adults.
Many parents I've worked with admit to wanting to make life
easier for their child or getting stuck in a habit of doing things for them.
The best intentions are there, or so we think. But it should be about giving children and teens the tools
they need for the "real world". That is where our best intentions
should lie. This may seem like a tough feat to conquer, and it might be at
first.
Something to keep in mind: make it a team approach (we are
all doing our part!) and make sure your expectations meet your children's
developmental age (don't expect your 6 year old to hang up their clothes if
they can't reach the hangers!). The good news is this "training" can
start as young as toddler age and work all the way through the teenage years.
Here are a some reasonable examples that may work based on your child's age:
Toddlers can be taught to hang up their coat, put
clothes in a hamper and bring plates to sink. With this age, try to keep it fun
and remember they are little "mini me's" and watch everything you do!
Elementary age children can put coats and backpacks
away, pick up toys, clear the table and load the dishwasher and vacuum.
Breaking these down into smaller steps can make this easier for them. Also,
don't worry too much at first about the quality of how things are done. Praise
them for their contribution! Teach them as you go.
Tweens
should be able to do all of the above chores and any other household chore they
have not learned yet (e.g., mopping, laundry). At this age, keep in mind that
their personal care routines are changing and help cater to success in this
area (e.g., give them their own special towels, provide containers and extra
space in the bathroom for all of their new grooming "stuff"). It can still be fun for them at this age too!
Try making a "punch card" for them.
Each time they complete a chore, they get a punch. Then they can turn it
in for a reward (something they'll buy into at this age) like a chocolate
frappuccino or a pizza!
Helping facilitate these life skills early and often in your
child's life will lead to more success down the road, not just as a teen but as
an independent adult.
Posted by: Shawna Paplaski, LCPC
